Testicles before memes

It has recently become meme cannon that male humans adapted testicular protection generations before adapting cranial protection for their athletic competitions. This statistic has resulted in many a fine meme, for which the author of this particular piece of cultural criticism must acknowledge as absolute inspiration. In the following paragraphs, the reader will realize how well this phenomena illustrates the fact that consciousness is accidental.

One popular meme depicts a stairwell that is occupied by a male primate of the Homo Sapiens Sapiens species. The subject is perched on a ladder that spans a stairwell= in a perpidicularity that effectively demonstrates the tenuous nature of our subjects relationship to gravity. Captioned, in bold, capitolized type, this meme claims, “This is why women live longer than men.” What this observer concludes is. that by sustaining a head injury, the male primate gets to pass on his genes. Which he better do as soon as possible, because he is an idiot and its a miracle he hasn’t died already.

Luckily, all of the presumptions presented in the previous paragraph are sustained by subsequent memes. In the infamous words of Youtube University, “prove it Troll.” Prove to your inelegant author that idiots don’t fuck better. I’ll bring the lube.

In any event, the cream of stubborn manifest destiny’s semenal crop allways hits the pop’s chart top with how much more important balls are than brains. Any anthropologist worth their sponsor’s table leavings will tell you that we are witnessing a prime example of selective breeding. The evidence clearly shows that the male homo sapiens sapiens with the most brain injuries gets the most opportunities for procreation. *see jackass 1, 2 etc.

Reverse genoengineering this phenomena clearly shows that the male primate with the most braincells to lose and still be able to procreate passes on their genes. I posit that this trend has led to homo sapiens sapiens having evolved to generate excess neurons, and the resulting network of excess neurological activity has accidentally resulted in what we know as consciousness.

Peace and Love

-Dirty Intel